posit on modesty:
i think the concept of modesty is ridiculous. this isn't me holding on to rebellious pre-teen notions that adults are trying to control children through restrictions on what they can and can't wear. this is me, as an adult, recognizing that modesty is a cop out. the whole concept of modesty is that it is easier to ask women to dress like nuns than to expect men to act like decent human beings. truth.
and you may disagree with me. you may tell me that modesty shows respect for oneself, respect for what God has given you. (we'll leave the religious discussion for another time.) you may tell me that modesty is a symbol of purity. and i will ask you: how? you will respond, "because it doesn't allow for unclean thoughts." or something along those lines. and i will say, "AHA!" case in point. who will have unclean thoughts if you show some skin? will you? no. the men who SEE you might, though. and whose problem is that? it's theirs.
it is not my responsibility to cover myself up because it's inconvenient for men to treat me like a human being instead of a sex object.
it is not okay for women to bear the responsibility for men behaving inappropriately.
and you may still disagree with me.
but i don't care.
i do care that when my most recent ex comes over to say hello, he asks me to put on a sweater so he doesn't get a hard-on. i do care that men follow me around, ogling me, making crude gestures at me, while i'm at work -- and that i have to ask someone on my team to leave what they're doing and come work in my area until these men leave. i do care that my mother thinks me wearing v-neck shirts will lead to my brothers being addicted to pornography. i do care that because there was a gap of skin showing between the waistband of my pajama pants and the bottom of my shirt, my ex thought it was okay for him to drug me and then finger me while i was unable to comprehend what was happening.
and it doesn't matter what i wear. skin or no skin, it's impossible to conceal my shape.
in medieval times, rich women wore dresses with plunging necklines, but it was considered inappropriate for their ankles to show.
and here we are today, with our victorian conceptions of morality.
some women will argue that women who show cleavage, wear close-fitting clothing or have raised hemlines have no respect for themselves. that they're playing into a patriarchal system in which women bear all, are consistently objectified, and then are blamed for whatever the consequences may be. maybe.
but i still think we let men off the hook too easily. that we perpetuate a culture in which it is okay for men to treat women poorly, because they "deserve it," if dressed a certain way.
it shouldn't matter what i'm wearing. you should treat me as a human being. because that is what i am.
bye for now.