i have an addictive personality. i've had problems with addiction to...some things we won't get into.
now, i'm going to admit that i have never consumed alcohol. okay...one swig of a roommate's raspberry smirnoff ice. once.
i've also never smoked. anything.
instead, i drink virgin daquiris and inhale smoke secondhand while hanging with drunkards and smokers. well, i used to. now i just hang out with my family. they drink dr. pepper and don't smoke anything.
and, chances are that i never will. probably a good thing, considering that smoking causes cancer and other things, while drinking causes liver failure and other things. having an addictive personality, i can't risk just trying it once. i can't drink socially, because i'm most likely a raging alcoholic. i can't smoke to ease my anxiety, because i'm a chain smoker in the making.
and addiction runs in my family. the family members i am close to look very put together, but have sublimated their addictive tendencies into religious fervor. that and oxycontin.
anyway. i'm sitting here. drinking my version of a tequila sunrise. (orange juice, grenadine, with ginger ale instead of alcohol, and a twist of lime.) thinking about how strange it is, to want so desperately to try things that are harmful.
but sitting on a yacht, mango mojito in hand, sure does sound delightful.
bye for now.